20. One day (Canadian) romance

I am 19. I am an adult. I am still in year 5 of my Music Conservatory piano performance study. 

I am at home sick with the flu for a week. When I return back to school the following Monday, I hurry to my piano lesson, which is the first class I have to attend in the morning. I hurry to my piano classroom but the air feels unexplainably different. It’s as if the energy has shifted, something is off. I run into my classmate, telling her I need to rush to see my professor.

“Wait,” she stops me “you haven’t heard?” She is visibly upset. This is the time before smart phones and social media. I don’t get instant school news. So no, I haven’t heard anything.

“Heard what?” I ask, alarmed.

“Your professor has died.” She says quietly.

“What? Are you serious? What happened? Oh my gosh,” I cover my mouth with my hand in shock.

“You know how they all went to the Czech republic last week for the competition?” She is referring to my classmates that traveled for a piano competition. My professor accompanied them. 

“Well, uhm, one evening, he jumped out from the top floor hotel window.” My friend has tears in her eyes. So do I. I don’t understand this. I am instantly devastated. Heartbroken. In tears.

“How about his wife?” I am choking up, barely getting my words out. My professor’s wife was my teacher too. Beautiful, smart, amazing pianist. Their marriage wasn’t good but they had two little boys together. 

“She went back home and took the boys. She moved back to the Czech Republic,” she says with a sigh. “Looks like all of their students will need to choose new professors going forward. So that includes you, Jarka”

*******************

My life is full of changes. New apartment, new man in the house, new professor, new schedule. I do my best to adjust to it all. 

For the most part, I don’t date anymore. It’s been over a year and I am still reluctant to let myself fall for anyone. Finnley’s dramatic break up and the reason behind it has me hesitant to open myself up to anyone again. Considering my new promise to myself to leave Slovakia, I don’t need to date anyway. I am just not interested.

It is a beautiful sunny day. We just had a group music history class and now we have a 2 hour break before our next one. I walk out onto the street with three of my girlfriends. There is a fountain and a park nearby, right in the historical center of Kosice. We like to sit in the park, watch the fountain and the water splashing around. We find an empty bench and sit down, chattering away. A few minutes later, a group of young guys stop by the fountain and then sit down on a bench right across from ours. For a few minutes, we don’t pay attention to them and they don’t pay attention to us. But then my friend Eve touches my arm and whispers to my ear. “Uhm look at this guy over there,” she tries to discreetly point at one of the young men. “Look at him, he is cute, don’t you think?”

I look over and whisper back, “Yes, he is not bad.”

The guys notice us as well, since now we are being pretty obvious. Giggling, whispering, and pointing at them. They are doing the same. But…..there seems to be something different about them. “Oh wait, Eve……listen….I think they are speaking English.” I can barely finish my sentence when two of the guys walk over to us. The cute young man and one of his friends. There is no room on our bench so they sit down on the ground. Gasp! I have never seen a Slovakian person sitting outside on the ground in my life! They would get their pants dirty, it’s simply not proper and not ok. Oh, the freedom of mind that is pouring out of these foreigners! I can instantly see the unspoken lifestyle and culture differences between us. 

“Hi,” the cute guy says. Oh my, they really do speak English! But this is not the only different thing about them. There is this relaxed energy accompanying them too. The cute guy wears a simple long sleeve shirt, cargo pants, and strappy sandals. His friend is wearing shorts and his sweatshirt looks vintagey. Easygoing casualness. Not something you see in Slovakia these days. I am instantly intrigued. I like these people. There is something so not Slovakian about them. They are magnetic. But especially him. The cute guy.

“I am Matt,” he says while looking at me. 

“Uhm…..hi….Jarka.” I feel uneasy. I am being spoken to in English and I don’t know what to say. I actually can’t say much, my English knowledge is non-existent. Yes, we’ve been taking 4 years of English classes in school, but the language doesn’t seem to stick inside my brain. I extend my hand and try again, “My name…. is…..Jarka,” I already sound like an idiot. I blush. I don’t know if it’s because of the language barrier or because I like Matt. Yes, I admit it, I like Matt. 

After a while of chatting, we find out that Matt and his friend Rob are traveling across Europe as missionaries. They are from Canada, from Vancouver. They have been in Slovakia since yesterday and they are leaving tomorrow. Hungary is their next stop. My friend Eve's English knowledge is probably the best out of all of us but even she has difficulty understanding them. “Huh, what did he say?” We keep whispering to each other constantly. “Ahhhh ok.” Somehow we collectively piece their words together and interpret it to one another. 

“Ok, time for class!” Eve exclaims after a while, pointing at her watch. My friends get up but I stay put. Matt is looking at me, disappointment in his eyes. If I could translate his gaze, his eyes are asking me to stay. 

“So, girls,” I say without breaking Matt’s eye contact. “I am skipping class today, I am staying. You go without me.” For a split second, my friends hesitate but then slowly walk away. 

Matt and I spend the entire day in the streets of Kosice. His mates go back to their hotel but he stays out with me. We get some coffee and we order Slovakian pastries to go with it. I give him a tour of the city and he is in awe over all the history that our country exhibits around us. We go back to the fountain and enjoy each other’s company. We giggle when the wind sprinkles tiny droplets of water at us. Since we don’t speak the same language, we become pretty inventive. We use hands and feet, we draw pictures, we write things down, and then we laugh at the silliness of our communication. We have a connection that goes beyond the language barrier. 

“What do you know about Canada, Jarka?” Matt asks me. All I hear is “Canada,” and my name Jarka so I shake my head “No.” I know nothing.

“USA….know USA…not Canada” I struggle.

“What about the USA?” he asks

“Fat…..fat people,” I answer.

Matt bursts out laughing. 

“McDonalds, hamburger, French Fries, New York” I am naming everything American I can think of and Matt keeps laughing.

“You are right,” he agrees with me. We laugh together a lot and we enjoy every minute of it. I skip all of my classes that day and don’t regret a second of it. I am completely engulfed into this experience of meeting a stranger who comes from a country I can only dream of. There are not many foreigners visiting Slovakia just yet, we are only a few years out from the communist regime. I have never met an English speaking person before. It only takes a few minutes, a few hours, for me to realize how incredibly attracted I am to this person and all that he represents. This is love at first sight. 

As we walk on the street, Matt starts humming, singing a song. I can’t believe my ears. People don’t sing in the street just because they feel like it. And he is singing just because! Because he is happy, because he is enjoying himself. He is expressing his joy and happiness this way. He is being himself and I can’t get enough of him. Slovak people seem so uptight compared to him. There are no smiles, there are frowns in the streets, on the buses, on the trains. Everyone keeps to themselves and stays confined inside their own thoughts. I was born in the wrong country, I am sure of it now more than ever!

I use a pay phone to call my mom. “Uhm, mom, I am not coming home tonight. I am staying with Eve, at her apartment, ok?”

“Ok, Jarka,” she responds. “Will you be home for dinner tomorrow?”

“Yes, I will be home then.”

It’s getting dark, the day is coming to a close. It is time for Matt to return to his group. We know we will never see each other again. Goodbyes are inevitable. He walks me over to Eve's apartment building. We are walking very slowly, trying to maximize every minute we have left. Then we stand there, right in front of the building entrance, neither of us moving. Matt is looking into my eyes and my heart is melting. He moves closer and he kisses me. Then he hugs me. And then we stand there together even longer, motionless, hugging each other, for eternity. Or at least, I am wishing for eternity. But time is merciless. The clock won’t stop ticking. 

Matt doesn’t let go just yet, he doesn’t want to break the hug either. In this hug, I see my future. I see a little glimpse of it, I see what it could be, what is out there, in the big exciting world. He represents a fantasy that I don’t want to let go of. In just one day, he shows me a world of possibilities that I know I have to explore. This English speaking stranger. This mysterious guy. He shows me a different side of human beings, the side I don’t know yet. He opens up a window of curiosity. I am mesmerized by it, mesmerized by him. Matt will leave today. But I want to explore a land full of Matts, full of people like him. I have to find it. And I will. 

There is a tear glistening in Matt’s eye. I feel the same. He scribbles his address and puts the paper scrap into my hand. Then he turns around and walks away. He is gone out of my life even though he unknowingly changed it forever.