27. English will jump into your brain

“Jarka, as soon as you get this message, call me!” It’s the voice of my au-pair program coordinator. She left me a voicemail on our house answering machine. She sounds happy and optimistic. I anxiously call her back but my hands are trembling as I try to dial her number. 

“Jarka! I have some big news for you!” I can tell she is eager to tell me what it is. My heart starts pounding in my chest and I suddenly feel dizzy.

“Yes,” I mumble.

“We found you a family…. I know….I know, we are not completely finished with the entire application process. However, we have already submitted your portfolio to several American families and one of them is very interested in you.” 

The agency lady is talking fast and I am trying to absorb all the information as fast as I am able to. I have prepared my portfolio and have been making payments toward my agency fee. I still didn’t expect this to happen so fast. It is mid-November, I have only been working at my piano job for 2 months so far. 

“The family will be calling you within 3 days so be prepared to answer the phone and talk to them. You think you will be ready for it all? We will finish your paperwork very quickly after the phone call and you may be leaving in the beginning of December. You just need to show us your new driver’s license, finish your payments, and pass your English test. Providing the family is satisfied after their chat with you.”

“Uh-huh,” I reply, about to faint. English test, phone call, December…the anxiety is rising high within me. I don’t remember the rest of the conversation. I hang up and sit by the phone, staring at it for a long while. “I may be going to America soon,” I whisper. 

Oh yes, I really want to go and I want to finally see Peter. I miss him. But when my departure is about to become a reality in just a couple of weeks, suddenly I am scared. Terrified.

It is Friday evening and the phone is ringing. I have been on pins and needles the past 3 days, waiting for a phone call from America. Every time the phone rings, I am hoping it’s them and I am hoping it’s not them at the same time. My mother picks up the phone and then shouts from the hallway, “Jarka! Phone call.” I jump up and hurry to the phone. My mother whispers “America” when I pass her. 

“Hello,” I say with a shaky voice. 

There is a woman on the other side of the receiver, on the other side of the world. She starts talking and I have no idea what she is saying. At all. She pauses and I figure I am supposed to say something. So I take a deep breath and say…”uhm….hi.”

I almost hear her smiling on the other side but she is still quiet. Then she slowly says. “I am Julie.”

“I am Jarka,” I respond. I feel and sound like an idiot.

Julie starts talking again and every time she stops, I say, “Yes.” What else can I say? Not seeing the person and just talking to them on the phone seems a million times harder than an in- person conversation would have been. But who am I kidding, I wouldn’t be able to talk to her in English in person either. 

“December 7th,” Julie says in the midst of a thousand of her other words. ‘December 7’ is the only thing I understand. 

My heart speeds up because I think she may have been asking a question, so once more I say “Yes.” I think I am agreeing to depart on December 7th, but I am not quite sure.

Is she saying I will be going to the US on December 7th? That must be it. Then I hear, “Ok?” 

I say “ok.” Julie keeps talking until she finally says “Bye,” and I breathe a sigh of relief. Well, I hope Julie liked me because this was a huge fail. We had a very interesting conversation and only one of us knew what it was about. 

Maybe she just wanted to hear my voice and make sure I am a real person? I hope that my voice sounded pleasant enough to satisfy an American person.

********

It’s Monday and I am called to come to the agency to work out the final details about my trip and pay my final fees.

“Ok, Jarka, here are some pictures of the family in New Jersey you will be working for. It’s Julie and Dave, the parents, and their 3 children. Two girls and a boy. The girls are 13 and 9 and the boy is 5.”I examine the photos and I see a cute family. 3 blond, blue-eyed children and 2 blond, blue-eyed parents. They all look Scandinavian. Then I look at a picture of a huge, gigantic house and ask, “What is this?”

The agency lady looks at me confused. “This is the house where you will live. In New Jersey.”

It’s a mansion. I have never seen a house that big. And for someone to live there? Me…living there with them? I gasp.

“Wait,” a sudden thought enters my mind. “Is this close to Cleveland?” I want to be as close to Cleveland as possible. It is where Peter lives and goes to school. I have specified my location request in the application.

“We placed you as close as we possibly could,” she answers, looking away.

“So it’s close to Cleveland, Tennessee?” I want to be sure.

“Uhm-hm,” she confirms and quickly changes the subject. “We haven’t done the English test yet. We have to do this before I give you my final approval. Why don’t you tell me something about yourself in English?” She looks straight at me now as my heart drops down into my stomach. It clutches it. I prepared for this but my confidence in my English speaking abilities is down in the gutter after my American phone call the other day. 

“Ok,” I take a deep breath and begin. “My name is Jarka.” I stop and look at her. She nods. She is waiting for me to continue. I go blank, I forget everything I practiced.

“Uhm, I….me….piano, I play…..uh…. playing piano.” I stutter, so very embarrassed. Ok, ok, I need to refocus and try once more. 

“Uhm….I…. twenty years old. I love…go to USA….ahh, going into.. to… into…no, I mean to America,” I struggle so much that the lady takes pity on me and stops my rambling. She looks down again, hiding the smirk on her face. I almost hear Martin’s voice in my head, “English will jump into your brain. Trust me on this,” sigh, I want to believe him so much because so far, no English has tried to jump into my head or into my brain. It keeps missing me altogether! It’s just floating somewhere above me, behind me, or beyond me. I doubt I will ever learn it.

The agency lady interrupts my thoughts. “That’s good enough Jarka. This is just a formality. The family has already approved you and you are good to go. You will learn English once you get there. Actually,” she shuffles all the stacks of papers on her desk, “I have your plane ticket here. You will be leaving on December 7th.” She hands a one way plane ticket to me. It’s actually two tickets. One says Budapest-Amsterdam and the other is Amsterdam-JFK New York. 

“When your year with the family is up and you are almost ready to return back home, we will buy you a ticket to come home.” 

All the butterflies in my stomach are now awake, their wings fluttering, tickling me with excitement. I am anxiously excited and I am excitingly anxious. This is happening. I am holding a proof of my new adventure in my hands. At this very moment, I am holding my future in my own two hands!