51. Smart enough? You got this!

I walk into the big house, ready for breakfast with Silvia. She is on the phone, talking and articulating enthusiastically. I sit down on the couch and wait a few minutes. In just a few moments, I realize her phone conversation is about me. Oh my, it sounds like the college admissions office.

“Uhm-hm, uhm-hm, I am writing everything down. I will have her send those transcripts and we will schedule her English test asap, uhm-hm.” She is talking in her usual sweet honey voice. “Oh, yes ma’am, she does have some kind of visa. What do we do with that now? I am pretty sure it’s not a student visa.” Silvia looks at me and I shrug. No, definitely not a student visa.

All of a sudden, I am on alert. Wait. Am I smart enough to take the English exam? I still feel like I have many gaps in my knowledge of the language, even though I’ve been trying very hard to learn. I have even read a book in English! And, oh yes, I had a dream recently where my mother spoke English, even though she doesn’t speak it in real life. So weird. I was dreaming in English! Does it mean I am good enough? To study in college? To take exams? To study in a whole another language?

“Jarka!” Silvia takes me out of my thoughts. “I just got off the phone with the registrar office over at the college in Dahlonega. They don’t really know what they are doing because this will be the first year they are accepting international students. Anyway,” she waves a piece of paper in front of her. 

“I wrote a list of things we need to do and things you need to get. They are working on getting you started this semester. School starts on August 18!” She is practically screaming now, still waving the paper in front of my face. 

I stand up and walk up to her in disbelief. It’s the end of June. In about 6 weeks I will be starting college? Surely, it can’t be that easy! Right? I have questions but I don’t even know what to ask her first. 

“August 18?” Is all I manage, my head spinning.

“I know, right? We need to get to work, Jarka. We need to start on it right now. Today. Right this minute. Ok, come here, sit, we need to go over the list together.

“First, we need your transcripts from Slovakia, from your school…what is it called again?” Silvia is pointing at the first item she scribbled on the paper.

“Music Conservatory,” I answer.

“Right! They need to be in English. I think you need to call your mother right now. Transcripts need to be translated and notarized. I don’t think we can find anyone here to translate them from Slovakian.” She is talking fast and I keep nodding. I am hoping my mother can pull this off! 

“Mmmkay, so we need to have them shipped via express mail because that’s the first thing that the registrar office needs. Then…hm,” she scratches her head with a pen. 

“Your English is good, darling, but you need to take a test. It’s called the Test of English as a Foreign Language. The lady called it “TOEFL.” She enunciates the letter slowly as if she was trying to memorize them. 

“You need to take it asap. In the next couple of weeks. I am going to call and sign you up. I will pay the fee too. But we need to get you a book, some kind of study guide so you know what to study. She recommended it” Silvia reads all the information from her paper and with every second I feel more and more overwhelmed. 

Transcripts, English test, it feels so unreal! Can I pull it off? 

Silvia keeps frantically scribbling in her notes, making another checklist. 

When she stops, she looks at me and says, “The lady at the office said that you need to have a student visa, but it was clear it is not possible to get that changed before you enroll. They are going to let you begin with your au-pair visa and then their new international student advisor will file with the Immigration office for you to change your status, mmmkay? Now, Jarka,” she pauses. “Do you have a social security number? Do you have a card? You will need that to attend college.” 

“Huh? What number?” I blurt out, panicking. I have never heard of any kind of number before. Or have I?

“You know, everybody has one. All Americans and all people that live in America need to have a social security number. You need it for important stuff like paperwork, documents. Did you not know that, Jarka?”

Oh, wait. Wait a second. Wait a minute! A number. Oh my gosh, a number. Now it’s all coming back to me. I am an idiot. A lightbulb goes off in my head. I can’t believe myself. This is what all the au-pairs were trying to get at the orientation in New York. This is why they were staying in line for hours. Oh my, but not me! Not me. Because I am a fool! I was too lazy, went sightseeing in New York City with Mark, and didn’t get my number. What a mistake! What if I can’t go to college now. All because I was being lazy and clueless. 

I sigh, “No, I don’t have a social security number.” I shake my head and look down.

A look of concern flashes on Silvia’s face. 

“Are you sure?” She squeaks and her voice goes unnaturally high, her chirpiness gone. She doesn’t wait for my response, grabs a phone and starts dialing. From her frantic voice and rapid speech, I deduct that she is calling the registrar office at NGCSU again. After she gets her concerns all out to the lady on the other side, she starts nodding, and then starts calming down little by little. Thankfully, I see relief in her body posture. 

“Uh-huh….ok….yes….I understand….good, good….. Thank you, buh-bye.” 

She hangs up the phone and then patiently explains to me. 

“Whew, Jarka! You don’t need the social security number right away to start college, even though the lady  previously told me you needed one. They don’t know what they are talking about, they don’t know what they are doing,” Silvia rolls her eyes, “but you will need to get it later anyway, after you begin classes. If you get the number, you can start working on campus. So you definitely need to think about starting the paperwork on that too.”

Silvia sits back down to her list. 

“The lady at the registrar’s office told me that Dr. Jones is really pushing hard for you to start now, and he wants to make it work no matter what. You know what she told me?” she lowers her voice like it’s a secret. Then continues on, almost whispering. “He is getting them to waive your out of state tuition and he is trying to get you several scholarships. That means you probably won’t have to pay for college at all.” Silvia stands up again and her enthusiasm is back. 

“Isn’t that so wonderful? Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Lord!” 

My hands fly to my face. How? What? Why is Dr. Jones trying so hard to jump through hoops for me? For me??? Me?  Based on the few minutes that I played the piano for him? Is this for real?

I look back at Silvia who is now doodling little flowers around her notes. 

“Ok Jarka, we’d better go get your TOEFL study guide so you can get on it right away. She jumps up, gets her car keys, and we are out the door. Dr. Jones is supposed to be calling us later this afternoon with updates on my scholarships and I need to call my mother as well. 

The English proficiency test, TOEFL, focuses on academic English and it is administered to potential international students to assess their language skills for professional purposes. The test has 4 parts that include reading, writing, listening, and speaking. Silvia buys the guide for me and I start studying the same day. As soon as I have the book, I make myself comfortable on her couch and start looking through it. At least I don’t have to practice the piano anymore. For now, at least. That said, the study material doesn’t seem extremely difficult, even though there are some words and concepts I am still not familiar with. I get a burst of motivation to do this. Because it is all in my hands. And I have to try. If I pass the test, I can attend college. This may be my only chance for a better future. A future where I can become the boss of my life. The future where I don’t have to go back to Slovakia and deal with my father. I hope I am smart enough to go to college in America. Please, please, please. I summon all of my brain cells to concentrate. You got this, Jarka.