52. Welcome, our new nursing home resident

She is on the phone. Every morning, when I walk into the house, I find her working hard, gathering information, filling out forms, making appointments. Silvia is in touch with NGCSU and Dr. Jones on a daily basis. She is working hard for my future and it would not happen without her. I don’t know why she is doing this and why she cares. She tells me that I am like a daughter to her and she would help her daughter with no questions asked. I appreciate her because without Silvia I would be lost. She could put me on a plane back to Slovakia and never spend another second of her time on me. Thanks to Silvia, I have a chance to have a life in this country. Her first attempt to get me established by marrying her son didn’t work out. Now she is pouring all her energy into my college enrollment. 

Miraculously, my mother is able to have my transcripts translated and notarized, and then shipped via express mail to the US. She does this with a record speed, which I didn’t think was possible. AND, after six months in the country, I pass the English proficiency test too. I came here with zero English in my brain and now my mind is thinking and dreaming in the language. Of course, to achieve this, my life threw me into a speedy foreign language course of survival, including babysitting American kids, and listening to at least two angry, screaming American women. Let’s not forget a side of Southern accent thrown in. It has been the best English course ever. Fast results guaranteed! And….of course, I studied here and there too. Apparently, after passing TOEFL, I am ready for English academics. Bring it on!

Silvia forwards all my Music Conservatory transcripts and my TOEFL test scores to the admissions office and I am set! It’s happening, Jarka, somehow it’s happening!

Silvia gets off the phone and in her signature honey voice, she informs me.

“You get ready, darling! Tomorrow we are going to Dahlonega! Dr. Jones is going to meet us and show us the campus. And then….”she pauses with a secretive smile. 

“Psst, I didn’t tell you this but I put an ad in the paper. You have no place to live, baby, so we need to figure that out too. The ad says that a new international student is looking for a room and board and offers babysitting or household services in return. The new international student is you, of course.” She giggles.

She is full of surprises. Surely, she could have told me about her plans for me. Once again, Silvia is Silvia. I have to agree and go with her decisions made about my life. She is right, after all. I need a place to live in Dahlonega.

“Aaaaand,” Silvia continues with a grin. “Two families just called me this morning. We are meeting them tomorrow! Isn’t that exciting?” She claps her hands, happy with her success. My life is organizing itself right before my eyes. For once, it is moving in a positive direction, even though I still have not much say about it. 

*********

We arrive in Dahlonega and Dr. Jones is already waiting for us at the door of the music department building. It is built in red brick, just like all the other buildings on campus. In the middle of it all, there is a steeple with a shiny gold roof. It’s stunning and glittering in the summer sunshine. I keep staring at it and Dr. Jones smiles, seeing my astonishment. 

“Dahlonega is known for its gold mines and the first major gold rush in the country. Not many people know this.”

I nod, looking around. The campus is beautiful. Huge. Even though they consider it a small school with just about three thousand students studying here. To me, it’s gigantic. There are buildings, big trees, beautiful green grass, squirrels, breeze, sun…I am in awe. 

“It’s very quiet around here in the summer,” Dr. Jones informs me and Silvia is nodding and smiling.

“It’s beautiful, it’s gorgeous, darling! God’s creation. You will love it here!” She is giggling in happiness and I agree with her. 

Oh my, this is where I will be going to school.

After our pleasant meeting with Dr. Jones, Silvia and I rush to meet with the first prospective family that responded to Silvia’s ad. They offered for me to live with them while I attend college. In return, I would help out with their young children, babysitting once in a while, school schedule permitting. Silvia is clutching her directions, written on a piece of paper in front of her. 

“Hmm, I don’t know, Jarka,” she parks her car in a dirt driveway but there is no house visible anywhere. Just large trees. Woods. Birds chirping. We both step out of our car and then I see it. There is a little white house, nearly camouflaged by all the beautiful nature. By now, there is a woman walking toward us, a baby on her hip and three other little ones following her.

“Hiiiiii,” she smiles in greeting.

“You must be Silvia and Jaaaariiiika?” she is looking straight at me, her smile not leaving her face. “Come on, come on in!”

We walk into a small room that appears to be a living room, playroom, and kitchen all in one. We sit down on a small couch. The kids make themselves comfortable on the floor around us. The place appears to be slightly cluttered and stuffy but it’s probably the size of the house that makes it feel crowded. The husband of the family joins us. They all keep smiling at us, which makes me a little bit more comfortable.

I leave Silvia to her pleasantries. I see her eyeing all the crosses hanging on the walls and I can tell she approves of this family.

“God willing, Jarka will be starting her schooling in just a few weeks and needs a place to live.”

“Uhm-hm, uhm-hm,” both mother and father are nodding as their kids are ogling us with their big eyes. 

“Ok, Jarka, that sounds wonderful. We would love to have you stay with us. We have one room for the kids and you could sleep with them. We will have two of our children share their bed so you can have a bed for yourself.” The mother explains. She is still smiling but I am not so sure about this anymore. Somehow, her smile is transforming into creepiness. Or perhaps, it’s just my imagination.

The father continues. “We have a van,” he points out through the window and I see a white beat up van that I never noticed before. 

“Jarka can drive to school and we can coordinate the schedule with our family needs. For the most part, we don’t go anywhere so she can use the car.” 

“Ooohhh, mmmmkay,” I hear Silvia’s singing exclamation. “That sounds wonderful, right Jarka?”

She looks at me. I feel like I may suffocate. I can’t breathe. I may faint if I don’t get out of here right this second. The family and the kids seem wonderful but I have a very uneasy feeling about this place. There is something in the air, in this house, or in these walls, that makes me want to run. 

“Yes, it’s great,” I choke on my words and smile at the parents at the same time. Then I look at Silvia, trying to communicate with my eyes and my face that this place is just not it. 

Thankfully, she gets my message. She knows me by now. Like a daughter.

“Ok, well, thank you so very much. We have one more family to visit and we will let you know what Jarka decides, oohhhkaay? God be with you.” She shakes everyone’s hands and we are out of there.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I take in the fresh smelling air of the Georgia woods and fill my lungs with it. 

“What’s wrong, Jarka? You didn’t like them?” Silvia is concerned. 

”They look like they are great, God loving people!” She insists.

“Can we see the other place and then we can decide, ok, Silvia, please? There is something creepy about this place and the house. I can’t explain it.”

*******

Mary is the other woman that called Silvia to offer me room and board. She meets us at a gas station and we follow her and her big trailer to her house. It’s a huge, gigantic house, but not in a New Jersey way. It’s not a mansion, just a big house. It appears to be only one story but it is very long. The first house today was extremely small and this house is extremely large. Do they not have normal houses in Dahlonega? We all walk in. Through the kitchen, we enter a large living area with a TV on the wall and about five very old people sitting around. Some are staring into nothing, some are watching TV, some have their canes resting next to them. Silvia is as confused as I am and we both look at each other, looking for answers in the other person’s face. We exchange silent glances but Silvia is nosy as usual and needs answers.

“Uh, Mary?” She is trying to catch up to her. Mary is walking in front of us, showing us multiple rooms to the left and right. “Is this a nursing home facility?”

Mary stops, turns around to us and patiently answers. 

“Why, yes, I thought I mentioned that before.”

“Oh, ok, ok, I must have missed that,” Silvia responds. After a few seconds she asks again, “Excuse me, Mary, but would Jarka be taking care of the residents here?”

Mary looks at her, then me, and then bursts out laughing. “Oh, no, no, she wouldn’t!” 

She keeps laughing. 

“Please, forgive me, if I wasn’t clear before. She would be helping out with my two grandsons. They are 18 months and 5 years old. My daughter is a young single mother,” she rolls her eyes, “you know how it goes. I am helping her out with the kids. They spend a lot of time with me. I own this place and I can’t take care of everything. Jarka would be here to help us out.” She finally turns to me and with a pretend enthusiasm exclaims. 

“Would you like to see your room?” Mary doesn’t wait for a response and starts walking down the stairs into the basement. At the end of yet another long hallway, there is a large room. It has no windows and it’s super dark. But it’s spacious and private, with its own closet and bathroom. 

“Jarka would have privacy here to study and…. look here,” she points at the door right outside the room. “She can go right outside to the pool.”

A huge, beautiful, crystally blue pool is right in front of me. I can see Silvia from the corner of my eye, smiling and nodding.

“And how about transportation to school?” I love it that, as usual, Silvia thinks of everything.

“Yes, of course, my husband or I would drive Jarka to and from school, no problem.” 

We say our goodbyes with a promise to keep Mary updated about our decision. On the drive home, Silvia and I discuss the pros and cons of each house. “Jarka?” Darling…..” Silvia tries carefully. “I think you should stay with the cute family in the woods. You can even have your own transportation. That’s a big deal.”

“Silvia, I don’t know. I don’t have a good feeling about that place. They are nice, yes….but…” 

I can’t put my finger on it. I can’t see myself living with them. It gives me chills, it gives me the creeps. I have to trust my intuition. 

“I don’t want to inconvenience them, taking a bed from one of their kids, and taking their car. I would be leaving them with no transportation." Plus not to mention, who knows what’s hiding in the woods behind their house? I don’t want to find out.

“They are God loving people, Jarka. They are good people. But you have to make the decision yourself. It’s your life.”

“Neither place is ideal. But I am so glad that I have a choice.” I am thinking outloud. I am so grateful for choices and for not being forced into a situation I am not comfortable with.

“Ok, I think I made my decision. I am going to live with Mary in the nursing home.”

Silvia remains quiet for a few seconds. When she stops at a red light, she turns to me, and with her familiar giggles she says,

“Jarka, you are a nursing home resident now.” Her chuckles keep echoing in my mind for the rest of the night. I hope I made the right decision.